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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the phrases this generation is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {